Rosi CornwellWhen our best friend Amy said she was coming home from Australia for the first time in 4 years we were all very excited to see her, and even more excited when we managed to book our first holiday together in 17 years. Yes thats right 17 years of friendship and we have never mustered up the organizational skills .. well let’s face it, the money to go away together.
When I say we I am referring to S.H.A.R.E …Sophie, Hollie, Amy, Rosi and Emily. And yes we do all have a homemade S.H.A.R.E tattoos thanks to Hollie being mental and owning a tattoo gun.
We thought it was a miracle that Emily was even joining us….(sorry Emily but you know what you’re like)… but it wasn’t just Emily joining…she was joined by a mini Emily growing inside her!!!
(she wasn’t this pregnant in Malta tho… this Pic is just for astethics and to show off my beautiful bestie and her growing baby)
So as Sophie and I were entering our 30s, Emily was expecting, this felt like it was going to be a very grown up holiday, and not a huge piss up full of hangover and regret.
Emily, Sophie, Hollie and I flew out together and Sophie and Hollie had been very rule obiding of the Ryan Air hand luggage allowance, saying they were super strict..but they weren’t so I felt sad to have unnecessarily left my macaroni and tinned tomatoes at home…I had managed to bag the salt, pepper, mixed herbs and paprika though (honestly taking the essentials to an apartment is a new life hack).
I’d booked a hotel for us so we didn’t have to get up at 2am to travel to the airport, and it felt so cute and cozy all sharing a room and watching Harry Potter.
Hollie realized she had left her purse in her coat pocket at Sophie’s house… but at least it wasn’t her passport! Tbf Hollie and Sophie had done well as they hadn’t had any sleep because we were celebrating Sophie’s 30th the night before…(the theme is RIP to my 20’s).
We got up at 4am and boarded our transfer to the airport. I beeped for the first time going through airport security and it really does make you feel like a criminal!
Anyway, we arrived and met Amy at our apartment where we had 2 double rooms and 1 single room. Sophie took herself into the single room as the snorer of the group and we were happy with our little home for 8 nights.
Sophie’s estate agent had recommended that we go to Cafe Del Mar so we had paid €30 for sunbeds and this was potentionally the most bouijeist thing we had ever done.
We arrived and felt like right VIP’s being able to press a buzzer when we wanted to order drinks. Although we discussed how VIP was it really when the drink took about half an hour to actually get. But still…frozen margarita in hand, the view of the beautiful mediterrian sea and my very bestest of friends beside me. This was dreamy.
We sat and had a swanky meal and bopped to the sunshiney housey beats.
Emily went back to the apartment, as it was a place you kind of needed to be a bit tipsy, especially as this was not our usual vibe. We are much more sitting in the park with tinnies kinda gals. We enjoyed the most picture perfect pink sunset, and life felt good.
Despite us all practically being in our 30’s, we were still on a tight budget and decided that at €15 a drink we should probably look at alternative venues, so we ordered a taxi and the driver let us take control of the music. We put on our group song ‘I wish i was a punk rock girl (with flowers in my hair) and sang our little hearts out, and the driver was clicking along loving it as much as us.
We went to say hello to Emily who was tucked up in bed, and at this point Sophie was 2 bottles of white wine deep so she had already broken a glass and was now laying on the floor spinning around in a circle.
We tried to tell her it not advisable to come back out with us, but after stopping for a drink at the apartment bar and the conversation turning to the violence in Gaza it was all very sobering so we headed on out and walked down into Paceville. En route Hollie and Sophie were playfighting which included hollie slapping Sophie on the nose and Sophie running after hollie and catching her leg, and them both stacking it onto the floor. Sophie would then become very bruised for the rest of the holiday. A man also threw some half eaten chocolate at us out of his car window and drove off ..which amy picked up, but we were rather dubious about the motive and accepting half eaten chocolate from a random man in a pick up truck.
We arrived at a strip of clubs which half reminded me of Medellin and Cancun. We got offered a free drink in the first club we walked past, so naturally we were not going to decline this. Drink claimed. Dance floor empty, proper old school nostalgic tunes playing we danced and sang. And were soon ambushed by 2 men who were dancing quite ridiculously. Ironically the inbetweeners song came on which was rather amusing. I didn’t know if this was their plan to just be weird to get girls or if they were just really enjoying themselves. Anyways we weren’t having any of it so they soon moved on to another group of girls and we danced to the macarena, the YMCA, but when baby shark came on it was time to go.
The next day I woke up feeling tired so slept some more whilst Hollie, Emily and Amy braved the supermarket. I’ve been travelling with Hollie so I know that going to a new supermarket is like Disneyland for her. There was tension when the 3 of them arrived back as Hollie had felt rushed, and she had accidentally smashed a bottle of vodka which the shop made her pay for!
We went for a refreshing swim and ate brushetta for breakfast before setting off for the beach. We got a bus for €2 and arrived at Golden Bay.
I guess named so due to the orange soft sand. It kind of reminded me of Viking Bay in Broadstairs. Except you can’t snorkel and see fish and an Octopus hiding in the reefs in broadsrairs …or maybe you can, I’ve never tried.
After the beach we got ready to go out to Naar for dinner. It was in a stunning location with the balcony on the sea, and the reflecion of the lit up buildings really was breathtaking.
We arrived and they couldn’t find our booking. It turned out Amy had booked it for tomorrow! Thankfully they had a table inside which was still really funky. It was another bouije place, especially as the non vegans among us shared a huge bowl of muscles, although Amy bought the vibe back to our norm when she spooned every last morsel of sauce out of the bowl. Job well done I say. You can’t be wasting sauce.
After we got a bus back and headed home. Tomorrow we would have a big day getting up early to catch a ferry to visit Gozo. There was talks of hiring mopeds, I was not looking forward to that. (I’m apprehensive about many things like that).
At 9am we boarded the ferry. It was huge and fast! When we got off we had made an instant deal to hire a jeep for €100 …€20 each. Much better than a moped. I was happy.
Amy started the driving and we went to the bluest beach I had ever seen! I also spotted a lot of jelly fish, so we didn’t stay in the water for long and headed onto another destination. In the jeep Emily was now driving and Hollie realises she didn’t have her phone. So we turned back…. but soon realized that she’d left it on the counter in the car hire shop. Honestly what is she like!
We rocked up to an even more beautiful beach Ramla Bay and swum around with the snorkels and Amy and Hollie said they wanted to walk up to the Mixta Cave in the cliff. I realize now in my older age I am not adventurous. I want to chillllll… and keep my feet safely grounded on the soft sand and not the vertical rocky cliff edge.
It was decided that we were limited to time so we all drove to the top of the cliff and walked down to the cave. I was very glad I visited the cave because the view was unreal. It would have been epic to chill there for sunset, but instead we went in, had a look around, took some pics and left.
As we were driving through the narrow towns I discussed with the girls that Malta is not somewhere I would come back to. It has a half abandoned, half medieval feel to it and after recently visiting Ibiza, I feel it lacks a certain charm. (Who do I even think I am?!?!)
Sophie took over the driving now and we headed to our final destination on the island. A pool of water that had a cave to swim through and when we came out the other side it was insanely dark blue…It was so deep and super eerie!!!
We worried about getting back through the cave without being run over by a boat doing trips to the other side, but safety in numbers we made it back. We had 15 minutes to get the car back and the engine wouldn’t start. A kind lady let us use her phone we had no signal and the rental guy said he would come and help us.
This gave a chance to explore the surrounding rocky areas ( I did need some encouragement from Amy as I was happy to lay in the back and read My book). I’m glad I went though as it was super cool and kinda like what I picture out of space to be like.
Engine started and off we went to catch he ferry back. The rental guy said we could just leave the keys in the glove compartment, so it must be a very safe island!
Back at the apartment it was Emily’s last night and Hollie made a banging pasta bake. We sat round the table and before we all went to bed I suggested a group hug. This would be the last time that Amy would be with us, with Emily without a little one!!
The next morning we awoke with no Emily, we had a chilled morning as the last couple of days had been all go! I had my sights set on a pool day, but the clouds got in my way so Hollie and I went into Selima. It was cloudy but my God it was humid. Naturally Hollie found some stray cats, who’d been provided with beds, food and water under a tree, awhh brownie points for Malts there.
As we walked along the coast it was all so weird. The rocks were so strange. Like who put them there. It really had end of the world vibes. And we spotted a rare type of jelly fish, see pic below …. (FYI its a joke. Its a tampon)
We came across a restaurant that seemed derelic downstairs but upstairs was offering happy hour and had an extensive vegan menu. Amy joined us and eventually Sophie did too. We must have sat there for about 4 hours, bellies full of sugar and pizza we went for a paddle and walked to the bus stop. I realized that Malta definitely looks much nicer at night. Sorry Malta.
We got on a bus to Valleta and arrived a beautiful waterfall and walked over a bridge illuminated by shiny warm lights and I realised that all the charm the rest of Malta was missing was here.
Valletta was very beautiful and quaint. We sat on some steps in a side alley …but in a sophisticated cocktail drinking way. Not in a 1L bottle of Strongbow way.
Amy asked about a venue for Halloween and the waitress that we’d all agreed simultaneously after she had served us was mega hot suggested Frisco Disco. So we bought tickets and Sophie hilariously told the hot waitress by saying we would be there, eager or what!
She had also recommended another bar with music so we walked along more funky side roads, to a bar with acoustic guitar singing. We took a seat and Amy mused at how cool a guy behind us was, he was wearing Rollerblades, had a boom box around his back, a guitar and had a sweatband around his curly hair.
We played a 4 way game of speed. This really isn’t my game. I’m like a sloth trying to process all the numbers quickly. Or not so quickly in my case…
It was nearing 11 and we realized we had to catch a bus home. At the back of the bus was the security guard from the apartments. I’d already decided he was weird and had no time for him. Amy and Sophie sat and chatted to him, where he asked them if they had boyfriends and said the boyfriends would cheat on them. No. Weird. Even weirder when we got off rhe bus he walked with us to the room, said goodbye and when Sophie went outside for a cigarette 10 minutes later he was still outside. What a creep.
The next day was another jam packed adventure where we got a bus to Mdina. Whilst Sophie and I got cash out, Hollie sent a text to say that Amy had shit herself and had to go to a toilet. Oh I should mention that up to this point we had been drinking tap water and asking various people if they also drunk it ,and every person who lived in Malta said they didn’t. Something to do with the pipes. Anyways despite it being an isolated incident with just Amy having a poorly belly we all decided now might be advisable to drink bottled water.
Mdina was very interesting and it felt like we were in a toy town or something, walking around these huge smooth walls. They filmed Games of Thrones here which appealed to the GOT fans amongst us …everyone but me…it’s far too confusing.
We enjoyed a lush lunch and cocktails with a view over looking for miles in front of us. Alhough Amy did comment “pasta in prison” which was funny, but if they served pasta that good in prison then lock me up because that pasta was soo good! (LOL)
(Im now adding this bit in 2 years later, so excuse me if there is any contrast in the writing, as Im sure you can imagine I look back fondly on Malta, and cannot believe how critical I was of it)
This was a really lovely day, Malta IS definitely worth exploring so all its wonders.
We simply couldn’t go on holiday and not go on a boat trip, we sailed around and had some stop offs where we all tried to jump off the boat, but after 10 minutes of me hovering on the side, I decided to call it quits and submerge myself in the water safely.
The boat sailed on to another stop at the Blue Lagoon! The captain said it was too windy so pull into the lagoon and had to stop in a cove a couple of miles away (I really have no idea how far in distance it was). Hollie and Amy were again being adventurers whilst Soph and I wanted to just kick back and relax, they ventured on to the Blue Lagoon and we trapsed behind.
Again, I am glad we did go as it really was very blue … almost too blue, like surely someone dyed it that colour ?! It was a very popular tourist spot, and of course as soon as we arrived we bought a Pina Colada in a pineapple.
There were lots of other boats who had pulled in and one had a slide, so we took it upon ourselves to board the boat and have a go on their slide!
Later that evening we would go to Frisco Disco, recommended by the hot waitress. We had a last minute look around the shops for people to get Halloween attire, and as I am just soooo organised, I’d bought some outfits with me (and also because I love Halloween and any excuse that I can wear fishnet tights and look sexy .. although as comedian Kathryn Ryan says “dont wait for Halloween to dress like a slut, do it all year round” .. or something like that. Love ya Kathryn.
We stood outside our apartment waiting for a taxi and this Dutch girl.. or Maltese I really have no idea how to tell (no offensive) walked past and sassily said “halloween is tomorrow”… which was absolutely hilarious and incorrect. It was October 27th, so it was in like 4 days. Anyways she gave us a right laugh and naturally we would then all keep saying this.
We arrived at Frisco Disco and it was a funky set up with groovy beats. I’d got comfortable so put my phone done with everyone’s bags whilst we danced, Im pretty sure a conga then happened so I danced away from my phone and when I came back it was gone !!!!
I was of course very unhinged by this and shed a small tear. It was a shock as it seemed like a very friendly place to be. I was suspcious of the group dancing around where we had left our bags, and instructed Amy to wait and watch them whilst I walked around and used Sophie’s phone to call my phone. Someone answered and said they had my phone in a different room behind the bar. I went to collect it and was almost given a lesson in protecting my stuff. It was all very odd, but thank God I got it back, and lesson learnt to not be an idiot and trust anyone.
We got back late and im pretty sure the next day was another relaxing pool day finally!
I can’t really remember what we did on this last day, but the pictures are cute. Im pretty sure we explored a different town, ate nice food, took a boat trip, Amy and Hollie jumped off a cliff into the sea. That sort of thing.
As I settled into bed on our last night, I realized it was the first time Amy and I had bunked up together since we went on a Brownie trip when we were about 10 years old. Interestingly neither of us remember anything from that trip apart from sharing a room and staying up to watch ‘sex in the city’ and south park feeling like absolute rebels. We even had brown owl knocking on our door to tell us to be quiet because we were laughing. Not hard to believe, Amy is the queen of laughter.
Bill Withers Lovely Day woke us up at 5am (honestly change your alarm to something nice and it’s such a better way to start the day). We packed the Last of our stuff and sat in a taxi and quickly arrived at the airport. It was a seamless transaction to check in our bags…where I got a priority tag placed on my bag and a.boarded pass handed to me which said ‘just business’ … had Amy purchased me a business class ticket?!
At security I beeped again so got my hands, body and bag swabbed. This did not feel like treatment for a business class woman HAHA.
I boarded priority and took my seat 6a…business class. Leg room for days. But even more so because the 2 seats next to me were free!!! I laid down to sleep but couldn’t, just as well really because I was given a drink of my choice in an actual real glass! Thennnn they came round with a huge tray of breakfast for everyone. I was sad to not make full use of this luxury because only the bread and fruit were vegan. The air steward said i could have preordered vegan, and so I let the cat out of the bag and said I didn’t know I had this seat, and it was then I felt my luxury fade by allowing her to know I wasn’t fully worthy of it. Although maybe I was if that’s what Amy had booked. I did actually ask if I could take the food to my friend’s, but I was told “no we cannot send it back there”… God knows why I even asked, but the divide of a curtain really is powerful.
Anyways they even then came round with chocolate croissants. Or should I say pan ou chocolate. …and tea/coffee AND free alcohol. Honestly now I’ve lived this life here surely is no turning back! (Its safe to say that I have not upkept this business class lifestyle, it costs like £1000 on top of flight tickets so until I miraculously get rich, I shall be maintaining my usual standards of limited leg room and plastic cups).
