What I Learnt After Going Solo for 4 Weeks.

And you can scroll to the bottom – or just read it all until you get to that bit, to see what Hollie learnt.

So after spending just under 3 months with Hollie, which is something I’ve never done, … Not just with Hollie, but with anyone.

Okay obviously my parents growing up, but you get my point. I’m very much used to just being responsible for me, my decisions, my actions, maybe especially so as an only child? And very much used to talking to myself, and then Hollie thinks I’m talking to her, so either have to repeat my external monologue or just say not to worry!

Hollie and I have been friends for 15 years, and in that time only had 1 argument that I can recall… When she wanted to bring a random man that she had befriended back to my dads flat, and I of course said no! So we clearly get on very well, and have only had 2 minor arguments during our time away. One in the 1st week over a dead fly in the sweetcorn and then in the 2nd week over going to get PCR tests during the world cup final when we were both very drunk. Both were resolved very quickly and we haven’t had any issues since!

It is honestly so cool that we have gone from our school days into *reluctantly says it* adult hood, as great friends… and considering we both used to be complete stoners with the ultimate dream of always having weed, (which is what happens when you watch SKINS growing up in your teenage years), to having the dream of travelling and making it happen… okay it took 5 years but we made it!

Despite our harmony, and sometimes being very in sync … Hollie would say what I was thinking, or vice versa, I was looking forward to embracing some time on my own.

Whilst Hollie travelled to El Salvador and back to Nicaragua, I booked a week in El Paredon… A small fishing town, with black sandy beaches, fierce waves good enough to surf on, and basically not much else! It is great that the town hasn’t become super built up to accommodate tourists. Despite their being many hostels, there is only a small shop, and a handful of restaurants.

I spent the week between two different hostels Driftwood Surfer and Mellow Hostel. I found that Driftwood was much more social, with fun activities and friendly volunteers. I did find that it felt a bit cliquey there, but maybe that was just me being on my own. Mellow felt like a swanky resort, and even though this is where I met the lovely Veronika, Marie and Jade, it felt harder to socialise here. Also the staff/volunteers weren’t that approachable, and seemed like you were a burden for ordering something.

Things I realised about myself in my venture to make new friends:

1. I catastrophize when something doesn’t immediately go as I had intended. I have done this all my life, be it a maths problem (MATHS MAKES MY EYES LEAK), putting on a double bridle at Hadlow (that’s ones for you Beth), and just generally any challenge that I come across.

So this relates to me feeling like I wanted to socialise in the day, going to sit by the pool, and being too timid to randomly join in peoples conversations. I sat there and thought about how terrible I was at socialising, and thought that I would never make any friends. I would text my friends and say how I was on my own, and that I wasn’t any good at socialising, when it had only been half an hour and I hadn’t even given myself a chance!

Every night (apart from one night when I just wanted to chill, so watched a film) I was able to socialise, and it always worked out fine!

I ended up making two SUPER LOVELY friends, when I was just sitting down waiting for chips and Marie came and sat next to me. For a few moments we both said nothing, and then I plucked up the courage to ask “are you going to the party here tonight”. We sat and chatted and then were joined by Jade who lives in Rochester – 40 minutes from my home town! She had befriended Veronika who came to join us, and the four of us had a really good evening. The next day Jade went back to Antigua and then Veronika, Marie and myself had a wonderful last day together, and were so grateful to have found each other!

2. It is okay to not be socialising and making new friends. This relates to pressure that I put on myself – feeling like I should be doing certain things, like socialising. Something I was excited for about this trip was not having to socialise, so why on earth was I giving myself a hard time when I wasn’t doing that!

It took a few days to find my pace, and accept that it was okay to be alone during the day (when it was much harder to approach new people). I enjoy my own company, but somehow felt like I should be seizing the opportunity of traveling solo to branch out and encompass new conversational skills!

I had such a lovely time being a beach bum, doing yoga, a surf lesson, hostel dinner nights, going out for dinner, dressing up for Mardi Grais, and generally doing my own thing, and enjoying the mix of social time and me time.

After my time was up in El Paredon, I got a shuttle to the airport, ate the most expensive subway and had a nice 8 hour wait for my flight to Costa Rica! I got my bag wrapped in clingfilm for $16 so as I didn’t incur any more rips or loose my roll matt and sleeping bag!

I tried to book our bus from Costa Rica to Panama, as you have to show proof of exiting the country when you arrive, but for some reason the website wouldn’t load. So I needed to call on Hollie to help me and book the tickets. I tried to check in for my flight, but was asked for proof of exit, so pestered Hollie to help me in doing this quickly, and thankfully I had enough time to get this booked and wasn’t in a rush! So after my 8 Hours of waiting for a 1.5 hour flight where I got upgraded to a premium seat with lots of leg room, I arrived in Costa Rica! I waited in a long queue to go through security again, and used this time to unwrap the clingfilm on my bag. It was like unwrapping the worst Christmas present ever.

After going through security, a man with a lanyard asked if I wanted a taxi, to which I said that I did, and he dropped me at the hostel where I would spend the night, before going on to the Wet Nose Project to volunteer.

After a good rest I ventured out to find some food. I typed Vegan into google maps and followed directions for the closest place. I rocked up at a proper local, greasy spoon type cafe.

3. We don’t always need to eat in fancy vegan restaurants. I had rice, beans, fried plantain and salad with a juice for £3! This is probably the cheapest meal I will eat in Costa Rica. The place gave me food poisoning vibes (I did not get food poisoning) but it just goes to show that we can eat vegan, like locals, and for much less than in a specifically vegan establishment!

Hollie said that she was dreading us meeting again because she has eaten so much less since we parted … I am a bit of a gannet, will eat anything and everything and drag Hollie down with me! I actually had to donate a skirt in El Paredon as it no longer buttoned up – OOPS.

4. And overall since travelling I have realised that I am good at assessing situations and saying no to people – ensuring that I am happy and content with the decisions that are being made.

I do not always feel like the smartest person in the room, but I have come to realise there are different types of smart. I feel that I am fairly emotionally intelligent (seems weird to define myself as intelligent even there), and I am pretty street smart. I may have only just learnt that Costa Rica and Panama are in fact in Central America and not South America like I had thought, but I do know if someone doesn’t seem legit, or is giving me a weird vibe ( I had to seek refuge in a chicken shop at the bus stop in San Jose as it was full of men asking for money) I will remove myself from their presence …………. and elbow them in the throat if REALLY necessary.

I asked Hollie for her perspective on her time going Solo and this is what she said:

• It was a real problem that there was no one rub cream on my back.

• I Spoke more to local people than travellers as I wasn’t always in hostels.

• It’s nice doing things on own terms, eating what I want, when I want, getting up when I want, going where I want.
• Going out for food alone wasn’t something that I liked doing before on my own – it was nice to do things that I originally thought I was only capable of doing with other people.

• Travelling solo as a female men are seemed much more pesty – or maybe this was just San Juan (Nicaragua). I actually had to go home from the beach on a Monday afternoon as a guy was being a creep. He was trying to sell ornaments, and I was hungover. The beach was dead, he comes over and say that I am very pretty, then starts talking about the size of my tits and says shall we have sex. I tell him no we shouldn’t, and this was something that I got asked several times over that weekend!! I then went for a swim and came back and to a missing flip flop. An American man said the tide would wash it up, and then the pesty man sees me looking for something, and I spot the flip flop and point, and he picks it up. He then says “propina” (tip in Spanish) and I say no and he starts shouting “La Puta” (bitch; prostitute; whore) and says “this is Nicaragua”. I picked up my stuff and walked off. I went and sat on some steps, and some other guys started talking to me. They weren’t being weird but they were calling me beautiful and asking if I had a boyfriend. All I was trying to do was just sit and dust sand off myself and get away from that pesty guy. I walked off to get ice cream, and sat on another bench and then this old man came and told me I’m beautiful. He wasn’t being rude and horrible like the other guy, but I just wanted to be left alone. Saun Juan del Sur was pest central. El Salvador was a bit better, and Leon was fine.

• It was satisfying to know I could do it!